I’ll Wash My Hair With Snow

Ah, the snowpocalypse. Snowmageddon! White doom! Yet another lesson in learning to let go of the things over which I have no control. Normally I would be pretty nonplussed over the whole thing. I can work from home. I have plenty of groceries. My Grandma – snug in her apartment a few suburbs away – might be running low on sherry but she’s fine in terms of critical provisions.

With my surgery a little over a week away now, though, I’ve had to bat back breathless little moments that are not quite anxiety attacks but are uncomfortable nonetheless. With the storm on the horizon, I postponed my pre-op physical on Friday and couldn’t get a new appointment because the office was too slammed. Of course now I’m rethinking the wisdom of that — I could have made it home easily, as it turns out, since the storm didn’t get truly dangerous until late in the afternoon. Again: let that go, I keep saying, until the tension dissolves. I made the best decision with the information I had at the time. Getting stuck in Baltimore for this historic, paralyzing, crippling, ridiculously hyperbolic storm would have left me far more stressed out, right? Anyway, it’s done, and I’ll sort it out tomorrow.

I have another quick little appointment tomorrow morning, and as my car is encased in boulders of post-plow snow, I floundered a bit trying to figure out a way to get there. The answer was pretty clear: neighbor-friends with a 4×4 would most likely be happy to assist, but asking? I sat here more or less attempting to will the boulders away for an hour before I picked up the phone. Getting over that, understanding that just as I’m happy to do stuff like that for other people, other people are happy to return the favor… it’s foreign territory to me. I can’t do everything myself, that while self-sufficiency is a great trait, it’s also an isolating sort of martyrdom that makes life far more difficult than it need be. So anyway, it’s a relief to have a way to get there that doesn’t involve starting to walk there now, or postponing it until it might affect the scheduling of my surgery.

Being snowbound is sort of nice, and I’ve cleaned out a couple of closets and started to get my head around having my mom here next week. I did venture outside, which was a comedic adventure that included bumbling through hip-high snow on what was I assume the sidewalk to my car. I would have fallen over if it hadn’t been physically impossible to do so. Then I towered over it as I stood on compacted snowdrifts, yanking and pulling giant heavy snow slabs off of the roof, windshield and hood until it emerged, half-visible, from its snowy tomb. A generally pointless exercise, since I won’t realistically get the car out for another day or two, but it was satisfying to get out there and do something other than laundry!

I came back inside more or less covered from head to toe with heavy, wet snow, my jeans, gloves and socks soaked through. I popped everything into the dryer, which recalled pleasant ruddy-cheeked memories of my Minnesota youth, where an afternoon of sledding and fort-building ended with snowmobile suits rumbling in the dryer while we drank hot chocolate. I had coffee instead, but the victorious feeling of toying with the tundra, of having conquered nature in some small way, was the same.

The Journey Innard

I still get a wobbly feeling, like I’ve been dipped quickly into a deep vat of warm, quickly swirling viscous liquid, when I lay the facts bare: I have cancer.

I feel better when I write, and while my novel is generally hibernating at the moment, save for brief spurts and quick cleanups, and since scribbling in an actual paper journal seems so maudlin and pitiful (irrational, I know, but I can’t help it), I opened up the creaky old blogging door again.

It feels melodramatic to say I HAVE CANCER. After looking at some cells six months ago, they poked and prodded and sampled and scanned again and saw that some of the cells were cancer. I am mostly extremely, ridiculously, annoyingly grateful that I was persistent about my symptoms, that by all indications we have caught it early, that I live minutes from a world-class hospital and have an oncologist who by all indications knows what he is doing, that my coworkers and managers have been supportive beyond anything I could have expected. Grateful. This does not mean that I don’t occasionally find myself sobbing in the bathtub. It’s easy to get worked up and irrational and extremely freaked out, although I slip back into the good, upbeat, every-reason-to-be-positive place easily enough.

I have surgery in a little over two weeks, and the doctors are 80-90% sure that all I’ll need is the surgery. We won’t know until a week or so after the surgery, after they dissect me and look at me under a microscope. That uncertainty is the worst part. Well, sometimes it seems like it’s the worst part. Other times I think that the worst part has been having to tell my friends and family what’s going on, having to pull them along on the rollercoaster that nobody wants to ride.

It’s curious to see how this news rippled through my little universe, how connections shifted, ebbed and flowed, on a sort of tide. The people I expected to smother me in support slipped a little bit into the stiller, quieter water, while the ones I thought would be awkward and step back came forward in this massive wave of kindness that is difficult to articulate. I’m not saying that the friends who fell back a little are bad or aren’t helping me… they’re all there, keeping me afloat. It’s all good.

Also good:
I Enjoyed My Cancer Surgery, by Cary Tennis
That’s cancertainment!: 25 great songs, books, films, albums, and TV shows in which cancer plays a major role

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